Who is this Anita Gates you speak of?

A.G.’s journalistic triumphs over 25 years at The New York Times include drinking with Bea Arthur (at a Trump hotel), Wendy Wasserstein (at an Italian restaurant) and Peter O’Toole (in his trailer on a mini-series set near Dublin). It is sheer coincidence that these people are now dead.

At The New York Times, she has been Arts & Leisure television editor and co-film editor, a theater reviewer on WQXR Radio, a film columnist for the Times TV Book and an editor in the Culture, Book Review, Travel, National, Foreign and Metro sections. Her first theater review for The Times appeared in 1997, assessing “Mrs. Cage,” a one-act about a housewife suspected of shooting her favorite supermarket box boy. The review was mixed.

Outside The Times, A.G. has been the author of four nonfiction books; a longtime writer for travel magazines, women's magazines and travel guidebooks; a lecturer at universities and for women’s groups; and a moderator for theater, book, film and television panels at the 92nd Street Y and the Paley Center for Media.

If she were a character on “Mad Men,” she’d be Peggy.

‘Une Gifle au Visage’ (‘A Slap in the Face’) Opening This Fall

Anita Gates

OSCAR NIGHT Will Smith, right, proves himself no better than a schoolyard bully, when he slaps Chris Rock at the Academy Awards ceremony on March 26. Nice manicure.

Hollywood, April 6 — IT HAD TO HAPPEN. The infamous encounter between actor Will Smith and comedian Chris Rock is coming to a Broadway stage near you. Rodin, Graginsky & Weinglass announced yesterday that “Une Gifle au Visage” (”A Slap in the Face”) will open in late September at the Imperial Theater for a strictly limited six-week run.

“C’est parfait comme melodrame et comme comédie ,” said Invétéré Menteur (in photo), who penned the one-act comic drama, based on an idea she had in front of the refrigerator in the 16th Arrondissement with her third glass of Ketel One. “Eh bien, poisson d’Avril, tout le monde!” (April Fool’s!)

Brian Stokes Mitchell, four-time Tony Award nominee and winner, in 2000, for “Kiss Me, Kate,” will play Rock. He will have top billing and has already been awarded his second Tony for the performance. Smith will be played by a whiny little baby.

An all-star supporting cast will include Viola Davis as Jada Pinkett Smith, Christine Baranski and Nathan Lane as horrified but well-dressed audience members, David Alan Grier as Will Packer, Joel Grey as The Emcee, Michael Cerveris as Policeman 1, Sutton Foster as G.I. Jane 2 and Wanda Sykes as herself.

The news that Smith has been banned from the Oscars — from any Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences event, for that matter — for the next 10 years drew no comment from the producers. Hosts for the 2032 awards ceremony have not been announced.

“The Phantom of the Opera,” which had been playing at the Imperial since 1883, will close unceremoniously in the middle of Act I on a Tuesday in August.

As we said earlier en Français and in English: April Fool’s!

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